Hey, brain, leave my belly alone

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by JL Fields, Editor @ Stop Chasing Skinny on April 17, 2012

Hello belly.

I used to work out to get rid of you. Now I accept you as part of my entire being and I work out to keep you, along with my whole body, running like a well-oiled machine.  However, today you softly rolled over the top of my spandex shorts and you reminded me that you are bigger than before and I had a moment of weakness – I flirted with my old ways of thinking.

Cycling gear is unforgiving.

You know it’s true.  It is really hard to look good in spandex with a padded butt.  Well, when I was really skinny  I didn’t mind it, but I wasn’t eating much in those days so maybe I was just delirious.

Sunday I suited up in my cycling gear – my first ride of 2012.  I hopped on my bike and I felt my belly, that soft roll at the top of my cycling pants. I was stunned at how quickly I reverted to my old way of thinking. Immediately I was struck with the thought, “I can get rid of this stomach; I’ve done it before.” I was developing a list in my head – my lexicon of ways to get rid of that tummy roll. I started thinking about how may minutes a day I would need to increase my exercise (should I sign up for a half-marathon?) and what foods I could eliminate from my diet (carbs are over-rated).

But then, suddenly I was soaring down a hill, feeling free, alive and powerful and I was reminded that I don’t need to get rid of my belly. I need to get rid of old ways of thinking that creep back in my head, every now and then.  Because I don’t want to run a half-marathon right now.  I love cycling, yoga, and nice and easy walks and jogs.  I love brown rice, pearled barley, and bread.

Nice try, brain. 

I am not getting rid of my round, buddha-like belly.  We’ll get through cycling season, one pair of spandex shorts at a time.

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  • haley

    AWESOME post!!!!!

    • http://jlgoesvegan.com JL

      Thank you, Haley!

  • Sarah @welshgirleats

    I love this post! I’m currently fighting my old ways of thinking, not dissimilar to yours. I used to br afraid of carbs. On my fat days, when I crave my ED body I consider restricting but then I’m reminded of how much I love bread, gentle exercise and a more relaxed approach to life. You inspire me xxx

    • http://jlgoesvegan.com JL

      Sarah, thank you so much and I like your approach, too. Gentle and relaxed is such a great way to treat ourselves!

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  • Chamomile

    Thank you for writing up this post, I really needed it today. This weekend’s been about recovering from some mild over-training/burn-out but tonight the guilt had set in, to the point that I went about actively searching for my old tried and true ED triggers and started in on the self-hate cycle. Then I stumbled on your message of belly-love kindness and my brain calmed down enough to shove away some of that negative gunk. So thank you ever so much for the inspiring words! Next time I don the running gear, I’ll give my belly-bump a break and not hate it on sight, lol. 😀 Good luck with cycling and take care!!!

    • http://jlgoesvegan.com JL

      Chamomile, I’m so glad you commented! I think so many of us go through this and we all voice it, we find community and support. THANK YOU!

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